This guy is almost clever enough to make us believe he’s been hangin’ around with us. Not quite, but close. UTR previousl reported that Bob Riggle was doing some bad ass spokesmanning (we just made that up, deal with it). He’s actually done more than one Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 video. Here’s another. Yeah, i’s been a while and maybe you’ve seen it. So f-in what? Watch it again.
Now, did you know he was the guy who killed Bin Laden? You should. That’s a pretty significant achievement.
How do you kick more ass? Elite!
How do you get more UUUHH? Elite!
How do you get more swagger in your wager? Elite!
How do you piss off a terrorist? Elite!
How do you break up withy our fiancée? Elite!
How do you disappoint your mom? Elite!
How do you confuse your dad? Elite!
What rhymes with dead meat? Elite!
Wanna learn more about Bob Riggle, or just drop him a line and tell him he oughta do an interview with the Swingin’ Dick Kilgore and Slim? Check out his website. Riggle’s a Light Colonel, USMC, who served in Liberia, Kosovo and Afghanistan. He earned the Combat Action Ribbon and has several unconfirmed hippie kills. He wants to chill with us, he just don’t know it yet.
One other thing: we’ve told those of you who aren’t hippies, sissies, fans of Olberman or horny for Joy Behar to join us on Facebook (especially if you pull a trigger for a living). Some of you haven’t done so yet. That’s your prerogative, but here’s some food for thought. We saw this assclown stealing from a blue-hair in a Korean War hat last week, and read his tattoo.
You can see what we thought of it. Wanna reconsider your reluctance to join us? (Notice we used a cheap knife and not one of the ones Darrel Ralph made us. See, we’re like walking metaphors for smart badassery. Living icons of the thinking man’s slaughter…and nearly as humble as we are good looking.)
More to follow. We’re off to help Ron Jeremy and Jack Murphy with a how-to video (separate videos, in case you’re worried, not all at once).